Before you get concerned, I have joined a gym. And I go to it almost every day.
Except for when I am feeling lazy, like today.
I am going to stop blogging
like an Inspirational Christian Blogger.
(It's just really addicting; I can see why they do it. Formatting is fun.)
Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, the couch potato who goes to the gym. I do, actually. I joined "Planet Fitness" for a ridiculously low price, and while I don't really like that I have to drive 8 miles to get there (after living on a teeny, tiny peninsula for five years in which it took forty-five minutes to get anywhere because traffic is usually horrendous, I find any distance over one mile to be preposterous. And bad for the environment.)
This really has nothing to do with this blog post, but I am in a rambling mood. My parents are on a seven day cruise in which they thought to invite me to go on one week before the cruise...but the entire ship was completely full, (Okay, I've got to stop with the italics), so I couldn't go. All of this to say, I'm home alone for the week, which is actually pretty nice because, as my blog title indicates, I am an introvert. However, I am a loquacious introvert, and as paradoxical as that sounds, I like having someone to talk to. And, those who know me really well know that I really do mean someone to talk to, not with. To. Because when I get really stir crazy, or highly caffeinated or, just wake up in the morning, I like to just talk and talk and talk. Just ask my former roommate for three years, Cori, for verification. If she is reading this blog, which she probably isn't, she is nodding her head in agreement right now and saying something Cori-ish like "You do talk a lot, Danielle." She's very profound like that.
So, today, I thought I would share a few random things I've found around the internet while sitting on the couch drinking coffee with real half-and-half, and "looking for jobs." It's not really fair of me to put that in sarcastic quotation marks--I really have been spending an awful lot of time job searching, but it's a pretty discouraging thing to do because nobody really wants me. That sounds rather debbie-downerish, but I just mean that I don't really stand out in the pack of other people applying for administrative assistant and receptionist and legal secretaries, etc, etc. So, in the midst of the discouraging-I-know-I'm-not-going-to-get-this-job-but-I'll-just-apply-anyway-so-that-I-don't-feel-like-a-total-loser-ness, I peruse the Interwebs.
Here is a little secret I must share with you, my faithful readers: Sometimes I get bored of the internet.
Is this true? How can it be? How can you utter such horribleness?
Yes, sometimes I get bored with the world wide web. I get tired of Facebook (gasp!), tired of Pinterest (gasp!) tired of reading the news, tired of looking at random pictures. I have a hard time reading for great lengths of time on the computer, so even though I enjoy reading blogs and articles, I have a limit before my eyes get tired and I get distracted.
However, here are a few things that restore some of my interest in the internet. And, don't worry, when I get bored of the internet, I just go read a book, which is really probably the best thing to do, anyway, bored or not, because I suspect the internet actually does kill brain cells.
1) "Put a Bird on It"
Has anyone ever watch Portlandia? First, a warning: Portlandia is for people with a certain sense of humor...I don't even know how to describe it, but watch this clip, and you'll get a good idea of their humor. It's basically a show that makes fun of Portland, OR, but in making fun of Portland, they are expressing their love for Portland. It's sort of a sketch show, not a sitcom (but not a sketch show like SNL or MadTV). There are recurring characters, recurring story-lines or story-arcs, but every short or sketch is only a few minutes long. It's one of those shows that is very clean when it's clean, and pretty dirty when it's dirty--so you've been warned.
This particular short has made me laugh long after watching it, mostly because I noticed just how many decorative objects nowadays have birds on them.
2) "Pinterest, You are Drunk"
I spend way too many hours on Pinterest lately. I don't even know what I'm doing...I just keep scrolling down, down, down into the depths of Pinterest. I'm not all that crafty, fashionable, exercise-oriented, or a fan of motivational sayings...but I get trapped, nonetheless. But I do find some gems. This website I actually didn't find via Pinterest--I found it via another blog that I did find on Pinterest (more on that in a moment). If you are on Pinterest--or if you aren't, I still think you'll find this website amusing.
3) Stuff Christians Like.
My friend Annie pointed me toward this blog. It's basically an ironical blog that makes fun of Christians, Hipsters, and Hipster Christians. Don't worry--it's all actually in very good humor. If you've attended church in North America especially in the last ten years or so, this blog is pretty funny. He also writes some serious stuff, too. My favorite post is probably "Handbells." If you know me--the real Danielle Bowers (as opposed to the fake one who likes Handbells??)--you know my feelings about Handbells.
4) Speaking of Hipsters, one of my dorm girls (Shout out to Gloria!) shared this blog with me last semester. Gloria and I have this weird "thing" about hipsters. I don't even really know--it started last school year with a conversation about what a hipster was (she didn't know at the time) and has morphed into this thing were where we share funny Hipster stuff with each other. Okay, guys, it's not that funny if you are not a part of it, so if you aren't laughing at my explanation that's because it's an inside joke, in which I let you in on, but, like all inside jokes, isn't funny to anyone else except for the people in on the joke in the first place. Gosh. Give me a break.
This blog explains "How to Be a Hipster" very well, in case you were wondering, or have no clue as to what a hipster is. Be sure to check out Chapter 2 and Chapter 3, as well. It's a very amusing blog, overall--I love her Harry Potter post, too.
Mostly, I just appreciate hilarious people, okay. Is that so wrong??? I am getting defensive for no reason.
5) I think my friend Ginny shared this blog post with me, years ago. It's definitely an English teacher post, but fans of proper grammar will appreciate it, as well: The Alot is Better Than You At Everything.
6) Well, I'm on a roll, so here is another video. If you love words, you'll love this. I think. If you love Jane Hampton, you'll love this--I know. Mostly because she showed it to me years ago, and it has held a special place in my heart. Mostly because I can't get it out of my head. (Former students of mine will recognize it, and probably run away screaming.)
7) "It Just Gets Stranger"
Lastly, I wanted to share a blog and a blog post that I happened upon (via Pinterest) that's made me laugh a lot in the last couple of days. If this guy wasn't Mormon, I'm pretty sure we would be a match made in heaven. (Pun intended...). Yes, I am maybe declaring my possible internet crush on a funny Mormon guy. Whatever. Deal with it, Akinyi.
Anyway, he has a amusing post about texting with a stranger who thinks he's her friend. And a whole lot of other nonsense. Enjoy!
Well, now that I have revealed too much of my bored self to the universe, it's time for another cup of coffee and a few chapters of my book.
Oh, and stay tuned for Part II of How to Blog Like an Inspirational Christian Blogger, coming to a silly blog near you.