1) Some days I think I should be a comedian (some days I actually think I am a comedian, and then I try out some of my jokes on my students, and then they don't laugh. Ah. Being a teacher is the best reality check there is.)
If I was a comedian, my current routine would start with:
"So, pumpkin spice lattes. What's up with that?"
And then, I would go on to riff on all thing pumpkin. It would be like that list in Forest Gump, except not shrimp, but pumpkin.
It's not that I don't like pumpkin--I totally do--but this is the first fall I have spent completely in the United States in 7 years. My last American Fall was in 2006, and it was truncated (every former student I ever taught is now saying: oooooooh, Vocab Word, Miss Bowers!) by my student teaching semester--I went to Taiwan around mid-October. That was the last partial-fall I experienced--and the pumpkin thing? Well, it wasn't a thing.
In case you haven't been out of the country for Autumn for the last 7 years, allow me to enlighten you: the pumpkin spice EVERYTHING craze is out of control. Out of control.
Guys, even McDonald's has a pumpkin spiced latte.
And it's pretty good.
2) Next, if I were comedian, I would say: "So, Halloween. What's up with that?"
Because it's the same thing with Halloween as with the pumpkin-everything: o b s e s s i o n.
Now, I am not one of those Holier-than-thou Christians who thinks that Halloween is of the devil. (Sorry if you are one of those Christians and if I have just offended you, but I'm in a super snarky mood, so feelings are going to get hurt today, and it's better that I take it out on you guys than on my students who are the ones who deserve the full blown Miss Bowers Snark this week because they are annoying. Did I mention the part about teaching being a great reality check?)
But, I do think the Halloween worship is a bit excessive. Everywhere you turn, it's Halloween. Except for my house because I refuse to put ghosts in my yard like all of the neighbors up and down my street. Seriously--it's like a haunted village or something on my street.
I love Autumn. But I don't love Halloween. Not because of the meaning of the holiday: I just don't looovvvveeee it. I don't hate it, either. I even like playing dress-up, as long as I can be a literary character:
|Can you guess the literary character?|
Sometimes I amaze even myself. I love how evil look in this picture. And, this is an epic Fuki-Ji special of a costume. I'm going to give myself a retrospective imaginary Gold Star.
|What's the point of big curly hair if you can't dress up like River Song for Halloween?|
Nope, I still think that the Halloween-Adoration is overboard.
3) Here are some things I do love about Fall:
- Curling up under a warm blanket on the couch with an especially-good book.
- Boots--I am really having a love affair with boots this Fall. I want them ALL!
- That toasty feeling under your covers in the early morning--and that it's not quite so horrifically cold yet that getting out of bed is utter torture.
- Cardigans--I know, super dorky.
- Pumpkin spice coffee creamer (I just had to sneak that one in). Even the Aldi brand is good!
- Soup! And that I can eat soup without sweating.
- Golden leaves and driving down golden-reddish-yellowish-coppery tree-lined roads.
- Wood smoke in the air.
- Wearing scarves without looking like a Hipster.
4) I'm happy to announce that I've signed up for another Half Marathon. Yes, I'm crazy. But, I'd don't mind--it's exercise, baby. This one will be the Philly Love Half-Marathon, a (new) race in Philadelphia on March 30, 2014. And, I have someone to run it with this time, which is fantastic--one of the other teachers at my school is also a runner, and so we are doing it together. I'm thrilled--thrilled, dahlings--to have someone to run with, and really thrilled to get to run in Philadelphia, which is, of course, an awesome city. Any of my Philly friends want to join us? If I can do it, you can do it!
5) For the past month or so (since the dog moved to Mali), I have been ensued in what can only be called an epic battle against a few mice in my house. I cannot catch them! They don't like chocolate, peanut butter, nutella, fruit snacks or cheese. It is ridiculous. I have bought FIVE different kinds of traps to try and get these mice. They either reject the traps and bait entirely...or somehow get the bait (I've discovered that they love eggs) without getting caught. I just got a "Mouse Zapper" from Amazon (it...electrocutes them...humanely, one hopes), so hopefully I can get them that way.
It is so frustrating, but at the same time, it has become this hilarious, dramatic episode every evening...I walk into the kitchen making as much noise as possible to scare them off the stove where they cheekily run around in broad daylight. I shout angrily when I see them run cheekily into the living room like they own the place. When I come home from school, I open the door with a slight tremble of excitement and anticipation: will I have caught something today? I scheme and mutter to myself, scour the interwebs for advice on catching mice, and plan their demise.
Despite all of this, my mice (see, now I'm calling them "my mice") are as smart as The Brain. And I'm Pinky, I suppose.
No, really. It's like American mice are all hopped up on hormones and they are evolving at a faster rate than we can keep up with them. And, they're coming for us, human world. They will slowly nibble us to death.
For those of you who have ever spent the night in an African hut on a straw mattress...you know that is a distinct possibility, actually...but I'll leave that story for your own tortured nightmares tonight.
On that pleasant note--Until another Tuesday's musing!